What It’s Like To Feel Lonely
How to Cope when No One Cares About You
Sometimes, it's easy to feel that nobody cares about you. Even the most popular and famous people have doubts about whether or not people close to them actually care. Learn how to overcome these moments of doubt, and value yourself for who you are. If you often feel worthless or unloved, take steps to improve your life.
Counselor Paul Chernyak reminds us:"Be proactive and start inviting people to join you. You will be surprised by how many positive responses you will get. If you start to care about others, you will start noticing that others will care about you in return."
Finding Support and Self Worth
Develop self-compassion.Developing your self-compassion can help you to feel better about yourself overall. It can also help you to see more positive traits in other people. Some things you can do to develop self-compassion include:
Fight feelings of worthlessness.People who feel worthless often can't accept that anyone cares about them. Remind yourself that you are worth caring about, no matter how you feel or what anyone says to you. Practice talking back to negative thoughts, even if you feel like giving in to them.
- Think about how you respond when someone offers you support. Do you argue with them, as though you're trying to prove how worthless you are? This can make you feel worse, and make other people less willing to help. Pay attention to your responses to these situations. Learn to stop and say "thank you" instead.
Understand "uncaring" responses.When you're severely depressed, it's easy to assume that everyone is mean, unkind and uncaring. Most often, people are just more focused on their own lives. This does not mean that they do not care about you. Responses like "It will get better" or "Just ignore it" may sound dismissive, but the person saying it often thinks they're giving real help. These people may be able to cheer you up in other ways, but be careful talking to them when you're at a low point.
Find new hobbies and friend groups.If you have few friends or close family members, one argument can temporarily destroy your whole support network. Pick up new activities to meet more people, and give you another source of self-worth.
Find support online.For times when you have no one to talk to, find a supportive stranger to speak with anonymously. Try or .
- During a mental health crisis, contact a suicide hotline. These are available through online chat and phones worldwide. Look for your country at , , and .
Keep a collection of happy memories.When you're depressed, it's hard to notice the positive events in your life. Hugs or supportive conversations may not even feel real to you, or you might forget them a few hours later.When you're feeling better, write down as many happy memories as you can. Keep these in a journal or box of papers. Add to this whenever someone sends you a happy message or does something nice for you. Read these over the next time you feel like no one cares about you.
Expose yourself to happy sources if entertainment.Watching sad movies and television shows are likely to have a negative effect on you. Try to avoid sources of entertainment that are negative or sad, such as the news, sad movies, and depressing TV shows. Instead, watch comedy movies, stand-up comics, and other things that make you laugh.
Spend time with animals.Pets can be great allies during hard times, especially dogs. If you don't have a pet yourself, ask a friend or neighbor whether you can walk his dog or visit his cat.
Understand your depression.If you often feel hopeless or worthless, you are probably depressed. This is a serious medical condition that needs treatment. The sooner you understand this, the sooner you can find support and improve your well-being.
Make healthy lifestyle changes.Forcing yourself to stick to a regular schedule can help your mood, though this can take a few weeks to kick in. Try to get enough sleep each night, and get up and dressed each morning. Leave the house for at least a short walk. Eating a healthy diet and exercising regularly can lead to a major mood boost.
- Avoid alcohol, nicotine, and other drugs. While they may make you feel better in the short term, they often make it harder to fight your depression. Overcome your addiction with professional help if necessary.
Seek therapy.Therapy is an effective treatment for depression, recommended by many experts and organizations.Regular visits with a licensed psychologist can help you find coping mechanisms and make positive life changes.
- You might need to try out several therapists before you find one that you are comfortable with.
- Give it time to work. Many people visit a therapist weekly for six to twelve months.
Consider medication.A psychiatrist can prescribe medication to manage depression, but keep in mind that this is only a temporary solution. Medication alone will not solve your problems, so it is still important to work with a therapist and work on specific concerns. There are many varieties of medication out there, and you may need to try several before you find one that works. Talk to your psychiatrist often about how your new medication is working, and about side effects you've noticed.
- A combination of medication and therapy may be the most effective treatment, especially for teenagers.Medication alone is typically less effective over the long term.
Practice meditation or prayer.When you're upset, visit a quiet, private place. Natural surroundings work especially well. Sit down and focus on deep, slow breathing. Many people learn to improve their mood through meditation or prayer.
QuestionWhenever I tell my friends that I am depressed and having urges to kill myself, they say I'm being stupid and then they slap me. What should I do?
Licensed Professional CounselorLicensed Professional CounselorExpert AnswerStop talking to these "Friends" and seek professional help if you have suicidal urges. Also seek out support both online and locally through support groups and mental health organizations.Thanks!
QuestionWhat do I do if my family tells me to kill myself?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThis is abuse. Don't listen to them. You need to talk to someone about this, a counselor, someone at school if you are young. You shouldn't have to put up with that kind of talk. You may have to sever ties completely with the members of your family who say these things to you.Thanks!
QuestionMy friends won't talk to me or pay attention to me, what do I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerThese aren't real friends, and you are worth better than that. Seek out the people who will support you and are positive. Their actions are not reflective of your own worth, but instead show how shallow and mean they are. Keep strong.Thanks!
QuestionWhat if I talk and nobody answers like I'm not even there?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIt is hurtful when no one answers you, but if you are with people who do not answer, then they are not worth worrying about, move on to someone who will.Thanks!
QuestionHow do I stop creating a false image of myself for other people?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerBe yourself, stop being a people pleaser and realize when you're trying too hard to conform to other people's expectations. If you enjoy wearing or doing certain activities that people judge you by, simply take no notice of them. You deserve to have other people know who you really are.Thanks!
QuestionWhat if all my friends ignore me and ditch me?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerApproach them and ask them why they're treating you that way. Or just keep your distance from them and find better friends who respect you.Thanks!
QuestionWhat should I do when my friends don't listen to me and just judge me?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerNo real friend will ever judge you.Thanks!
QuestionI feel really worthless and sad all the time. How can I raise my spirits?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerStop thinking about the negativities of your life and start making goals. Start loving yourself and don't waste your time on people who don't care about you.Thanks!
QuestionWhat do I do if people think I'm mentally ill and act weird when I tell them I don't have any friends?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerPractice ignoring those people because they don't support you and are being judgmental.Thanks!
QuestionSometimes I feel that nobody cares about me or loves me - not even my parents or friends. What should I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIt is a common thing to feel this way. Understand that everyone is basically alone.To remove this loneliness, we make friends. But often we feel that we are alone or no one cares about us this is because we expect more and more from others.Try to be happy with what you get. Be grateful because there are people in this world who really do not have anyone to love. Love the people around you but do not expect any thing back. This is very difficult in practice but try to learn it as it is a healthy way of relating and taking care of yourself. This will help you a lot. And also try to care for yourself and enjoy your own company.Thanks!
- Your value does not depend on the approval or acceptance of other people. Be content with your own approval. Live your life.
- Don't let the people who put you in this situation and drag you down. Show them who the better person is by refusing to give up or appear defeated.
- Distract yourself. Get a job or join a sport in which you are interested.
- If the people who don't care about you are your parents, talk to a teacher or counselor. They can help you get to the right people or agency.
- Sometimes you may not be able to think of a time when you were happy, or proud, or even peaceful. Don't worry, this is only because you are in that hole. There's a moment; you'll find it once you feel better.
- If this feeling persists and leads to severe thoughts of suicide, immediately call the suicide hotline at 1 (800) 273-8255.
- Commiseration can be a great comfort, but after a point the conversation should turn to improving your life. People who dwell on negative events tend to stay depressed longer, even if they talk about it with friends.
Sources and Citations
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